Here lies 2018.
In 2018, I learned that my fiercest competition is the ideal form of myself against my current output and I won’t find satisfaction in what I do until I come to terms with the fact that process and progress take time. In Rupi Kaur’s words, “you do not just wake up and become a butterfly, growth is a process”.
I started 2018 with a vision of the mess I’d be in if I didn’t start start taking my thesis seriously. In between burnt out arduino components, misbehaving code, bad internet for an IoT (Internet of Things) project, platform compatibility issues and the many things my village people sent against me even during defence, I got it done somehow. 6 months into the year, I graduated with First-class honors in Information and Communication Engineering. One of my proudest achievements till date.
On Relationships.
You see, I am quite good at being alone. Cultivated over 6 years of hell in Secondary school, being alone is like second nature. I really look forward to times where it’s just me and everyone else is away. In 2018, I let people in, I made new friends outside my usual academic circle, met people who’ve challenged my thought process, even managed to trick someone into a relationship with me.
2018 showed me that the best moments are never planned. Say for example, your best date is being on a bike at 10:15pm for about 10km struggling to balance a box of pizza on one hand whilst trying not to fall. Just to end up eating it with your partner under street lights. Best. Just live in the moment, but with an eye on the future.
On Courage.
In 2018. I learnt to shoot shots. I’m one of the most risk averse people I know. Minimise risk to minimise disappointment, that’s how it’s always been. But now, I’m ashamed of myself for not learning how to shoot shots earlier. Not all shots came through. Some fell blank. But those ones that went through? Bulls eye.
On Goals & Expectations.
You see, all I wanted to do this year was the most. The best possible. Zero real goals. Zero expectations. Just put the best in whatever I’m doing at any point in time. Just hope and faith that whatever I did was going to turn out fine. Did it work? well sometimes yes.
“Last Last. Everything will be fine in the end.”
Worked way above my expectations since I had zero to begin with anyway. Hope but never expect. Look forward but never wait. There were moments when maybe it didn’t feel like some things was going to work out the way I had them figured in my head.
“Whenever life throws lemons at you, remember you have a goat and no one has ever made lemon-flavoured Asun before. Don’t be afraid to try it.” – Unknown
What next?
On Graduation, most people had this question to answer. I didn’t. I’ve been holding a job since my Internship and slid straight into Full-time Designer on Graduation. Oh the responsibilities that came with it!
They won’t tell you that after school, you’d start paying heavy internet bills especially if like me, you work remotely sometimes, ah!
They won’t tell you that Lagos will be out to get you in every way possible. From traffic to the unimaginable stress. On some days, I take the three different forms of Lagos transport just to get to work. Bike, Keke & the ever “Change no dey”, “Brother plis adjust”, “Manage the seat like that”, “Gbe body e” Danfo. 30 minutes journey turning to 2 hours. Èkó ò ni Bàjé.
The reality that you have to actually pay for your own feeding and transport, no more allowance or handouts will stare at you. You’re responsible for your own self and flex.
On the bright side, I did some of my best work this year. But now in retrospect, was that the best I really could do? You see, that’s the thing about my work (for context, I’m a product designer). Anytime I’ve designed something, when I go back to it, I keep seeing a zillion ways it could have been better. Seeing constant ways to improve something and almost not being to do anything about it to avoid conflict is my current yoke, whether it’s my work or not.
With all these, I still grew personally in relation to my work regardless. It’s another thing I’m proud of. Could be better.
Randoms
I read about 20 books in total. I fell back in love with memoirs. There’s something about people’s stories that’s gets you “enpenised”. Trevor Noah’s Born a Crime and Tiffany Haddish’s Last Black Unicorn got me in my guts and feelings. Creative Selection and Rupi Kaur’s books were the holiday reads. No regrets there. Yuval’s Sapiens was a year favorite.
“You could never convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising him limitless bananas after death in monkey heaven.” – Yuval Noah Harari
Got to the top of Table Mountain. 1 down, 6 Nature Wonders to go.
NYSC sent me to Nonwa Gbam Tai, Rivers State. Only one reason I’ll ever go back to that place. The Fish and Bole.
What’s for 2019?
This time, real goals and expectations.
Work – Getting better with my craft, processes, empathy, storytelling, the few of many things packed into it. No compromises. Taking new opportunities to do greater work.
Community – Get involved with the design community. Writing about my challenges and how I go around them, contributing and volunteering for meetups and programs. Help to Build People. (PS. If you’re running something cool with respect to this, hmu!)
Health – I’m the most physically unfit person you’d ever meet. Finding and Committing to a program in 2019. I promise, it won’t have stopped by February.
Learning – I didn’t get any certification this year as I envisioned. 2019 is the year of Nanodegrees, Ideo and IDF courses & certifications.
Finance – “If we no make money wetin we gain??”
Travel – You see, if there’s any other reason apart from Financial Independence to secure the bag in 2019. It’s for this.
Here’s to doing the absolute most in 2019 💫
